So, I relapsed. Not happy about it. Gonna have to go through withdrawals all over again. Oh well. It is what it is. Not much else going on. Still looking into things. Still not liking games or being played. Still have the same easy to push buttons I've always had.
Still wonder about the changes I've gone through since I was twenty. It's amazing to see what kind of beatings and blessings can come down the road.
"I've got a restraining order against Satan's Daughter. I keep it at the bottom of this Jameson and Water."
I've got mixed feelings about going home. I was really looking forward to having some time to sit and talk with my Dad. And that's not gonna happen now. I've also been thinking about my Mother lately and all the answers I'll never get now that she's gone. All rather morose. Blah.
There's a lot of baggage involved in going home. I'm still considering contracting. As much as this sometimes sucks, there is an addictive quality to it. A release of something primal. And the fear that you can't turn it off. But, that's a little much for this forum. Anywho.
It's off to bed as I've been up for 24 again. And will be apparently every 3 days until I leave this place. YAY!!!
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