Like a rolling stone.

My body sometimes chooses for me. Like the last few hours I spent napping. I don't remember wanting to nap. But here I am, waking up confused. What the hell just happened? Oh well. Here I am. A little bit more rested and ready to continue.

I spent a few hours today talking to an old friend. It was good. Got my mind lubed up and ready to roll. It's nice to have help shaking out some of the cobwebs. Now the music is on, a cigarette is lit, and the ideas are roiling. Come with me.


I thought a bit today about religion and faith. About the times I looked for some kind of God. Something, anything that could convince me. I spent so much time as a child looking, high and low, looking for some kind of empirical proof. Here's what I've found so far. I've seen God in the eyes of my children, in their laughter. I've seen God in the open spaces of Earth. I've seen God in the Oceans. Dark, mysterious, unknowable and strange. I've seen God in the eyes of dead men. On their lips as they expire. By definition, the same God that makes puppies, kitties, and babies; also kills them. Well, to be fair, if not God something. Something spiritual. Something bigger than me.

"You've got a Methodist coloring book and you color really well
But don't color outside the lines or God will send you to Hell
'Cause God hates war and God hates crime
but he really hates people who color outside the lines."

Today I thought about some sort of manifesto. I'm not really sure how it all fleshes out, but here's what I've got so far:

1. Want to fuck my brain? Not in a warped sense. Nor in a literal horror movie sense. In the sense that yeah, we could have sex. Great. Awesome. BUT, if we can't talk to each other, what's the point? It won't hold my interest at all. Hell, if you don't turn my mind on, I probably won't get off in the first place. So really why bother? Let's not waste each others time. In theory we should be able to help each other grow and change intellectually. I'm not saying every other word out of our mouths should be a dissertation, but, if we can't actually hold a conversation now and then, it's going to get boring. Fast. And bored leads to bad. Always.

2. I want Domestic Bliss. Not in a zany black and white 50s or 60s sense. But.... sort of. I think anymore that wanting that kind of thing is the unusual thing, as opposed to it being the norm like it used to be. I'm not saying in any sense that I want some boring Joe Friday kind of life. "I'm ready for some sex. Are you lubricated? No? Oh well. Here I go." Not my bag. That being said, I don't necessarily throw out the idea of gender roles, or societal norms. Would I make my old lady work on the car while I sat inside? Probably not. ever. Does that mean I wouldn't show her how to work on a car if she wanted to learn? Of course not. I think it's vital that if you are in a relationship you learn from the person you're with. As much as you can.

I can fully admit that I wouldn't mind coming home to a woman wearing an apron cooking dinner. And once the kids were in bed maybe playing in the kitchen with her wearing an apron and nothing else. I don't know, I suppose it's easier to envision than to explain. In no way do I have a problem with a woman being out in the workforce making her way in the world. Personally, I think staying at home is the more exhausting job. I did it for a spell with my kids and it wore me out faster than combat did. I'm of the mind that all of that can be achieved and two people can still be equals and partners in a relationship. I think it's a by product of mutual respect.

3. No relationship is without turbulence. To believe otherwise is to be naive or a 12 year old. That being said it's way too easy to be understanding of the person you're with and not add to the problem by being a dick, or just behaving in a way that makes matters worse. People have bad days. People have buttons. I do, you do, everyone does. That being what it is, in no way does that give you or the person you're with free rein to act a fool every time something doesn't go their way or upsets them. It's mostly common sense. Be a grown up. Too easy right?


4. Being in a relationship isn't the death of adventure. Sure, being in an adult relationship, especially when kids are involved makes it a bit more difficult.... But it doesn't preclude it. It just takes a bit more planning.


That's all I have for now, especially since my shower is calling me. But, it was on my mind, so I had to get it out. Off to shower and let the gears cool down.