The Final Cut

I want a Love like Dawn.
I want it to burn away the years of GRAY.
I want it to scour everything from my mind, wiping fingerprints from the space that was a heart.
The thumbprint that ground out my heart and soul.
INDELIBLE INK.
Give my SELF back.

"Will they ever measure up?
To the way you left me here by the roadside,
The bloodiest cadaver,
Marked in your words, I'm the joke, I'm the bastard."

I want to give someone EVERYTHING.
I want to be known inside and out.
I want a secret smile again.
I want to not be bitter every time I see people in love.
I want an equal.
I want a partner.
I want, I want, I want.
What else is new?

My number is one.
I will not throw myself into something shiny.
Manic and loud.
Moth like.
What's the new flame?
What's got shiny words, toys, shiny?
I am accepting of my role? My lot? My CHOICE.
I refuse to be bamboozled with yet another waste of time.
Of hope.

I have a Jaelyn now. She loves her Uncle more than anything.
Now, I have at least a quarter of my dream.
And that is more than enough.