Lullaby

Lullaby

Tonight, I sit and burn lean tissue, throwing my mind into the farthest reaches of this meditative near trance. Writing from places I don't often look. Sometimes, Self Observation is harsh under such bright light and scrutiny. Tonight, I managed to look at the moon with ambivalence. No longing, no fist shaking. Nothing but noticing it existed. Tonight, I open the doors to that place within where so few few have tread, much less know of.

Forever and Always is a bitter pill. A knife I helped put in my own back.

Sometimes, I just want...
A hot bath and coffee.
Hands on my face and no words.
A warm hug in a coffee shop, and all the excitement that came with it.
Playing in the snow.
Laying on a couch taking in silliness and being perfectly content.
To be well and truly KNOWN.
The smell of perfume in the desert.
A heated moment, a time that lasted forever and for minutes only.

Most times, I just know...
That I brought all this on myself.
That this is my Fate.
That Destinies can be lost.
That I remain alone.
That this is how it should be.