I'm in a holding pattern. Now that I've made a decision about whether or not get out, times seems to be be sprinting and crawling at the same time. Wrangling with a civilian at the college to get what I need to get out of here on time. Then, school and prep work for a business. I can fall back on teaching if need be, but truth be told... the thought of working with my family is a million times more exciting. Beyond hoping everything works out, we are preparing. I'm pretty confident in being able to get this thing up and running.
Other things in my life are a little less clear. I continuously tell myself I don't have time for distractions. My ennui and apathy are at all time highs. Outside of work, I haven't even been going outside. I just don't.... feel the need to. I've been sleeping during the day, and lately staying up way too late. It's a vicious cycle. I'm kinda just living vicariously through my brothers. Baby Jaelyn is magical and I'm her favorite. Which is wonderful with a sad aftertaste.
And so, I trudge on like I do. I'm my age. Some days I feel twice that. Most days, I feel like I'm in my twenties but have lived a little too much and seen more than I should have. Meh. What can you do? I'm looking forward to buying my land, building my house and maybe getting a dog or two for companionship in between the boys visits. It's not a life for everyone, but for the hermit lifestyle I've ended up in, I guess it'll work. Still looking at adoption a little further down the road. Who knows what will happen? The best laid plans and all.
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